The World With No Name Session Report 1 Part 2

Cast of Characters
Moon Frog, a Tocatl (humanoid fusion of a spider and a frog) with a massive sword
Costin, a half a foot tall homunculus with a pet monitor lizard
GRN 1000, a robot specially made for vacuuming
Maxie, a dark elf coming to the surface from her underground fungus plantation with some Charismatic Skills and a rifle
Jaru, a floriambler (mobile carnivorous plant that loves traveling) with magical power

As maxie was being bitten in her face on one side of the dungeon, the homunculus Costin and the floriambler Jaru found two abandoned prison cells sitting right next to each other. They first went into the one to the west, seeing a skeleton chained up with a brass knife stuck in between its ribs, a sack lying in its lap. They felt that this was "really sketchy", believing either the contents of the sack to be dangerous or the knife to be cursed in some way. Trying to inspect the sack with Jaru's staff, they accidentally knocked a skull out of it, which made them think it was even more sketchy. As they were sitting there trying to figure out what to do, I rolled a random encounter: a giant harvestman!

The harvestman looked to have been attracted by the noise of the falling skulls, and the players took advantage of it by throwing rocks into the cell to attract into going in there. This was pretty good planning on their part, but sadly, as it turned out, some of the skulls in the sack were explosive, killing the harvestman when activated and throwing Jaru and Costin against the back wall. After the explosion died down, Jaru made sure to note that they gave most of it a proper burial (taking the legs for food).

However, even though they were hurt by the explosion and the giant harvestman was killed by it, some of the skulls contained treasure (coins and small gems) which were scattered about and they scrabbled about to pick up. After that, they went over to inspect the other prison cell.

This other abandoned prison cell really only contained two things: a tunnel in the wall which the once-occupant presumably escaped through, and an acid-spitting slug. They gave the slug some spices they stole from the chef Keeda to befriend it, and ended up taking it out of the dungeon afterwards and now it is their pet. After befriending the acid-spitting slug, which was used by the once occupant to tunnel out of the jail cell, they crawled through the tunnel and into another hallway.

As Jaru and Costin explored the abandoned prison cells and the tunnel out of them, the three other adventurers leave the mouth room through a door on the other side, Maxie bleeding from her face because of the wormtail bite. They walk through a stonebrick hallway to the south, eventually ending up in a small library which they positively loved, and ended up taking 6 different books from. These books use the grimoire system from Last Gasp Grimoire, but I don't really remember which post that was in.

After spending some time grabbing random books in the abandoned study-library, Moon Frog, GRN 1000, and Maxie move over to a smaller chamber some distance off. In here is the hollowed out remains of an ancient bronze robot. GRN 1000 moved over to it and started inspecting it, tearing the metallic arms off to use later, and discovering the creature hiding inside of the bronze body of the android. Inside of it is a very confused giant, pale subterranean sea star, more like a basket star in this case. It flung itself out of the body when discovered, but didn't really do anything but writhe confusedly on the floor. They decided to take it home too, bringing the total number of pets up to 5 (Jaru has a crow familiar).

After crawling through the tunnel, Jaru and Costin ended up at a crossroads. They took a peak through the doorway into the door to the north, and saw a violent scene of many Rowdy Brick Boys wrangling and riding a many-legged giant weasel. They decided they would rather not deal with that, and so went down the hallway and opened the door slightly to take a peak into the room there, seeing many cubbeys filled with many skulls, all snoring and sleeping, They thought that that sounded like it was either a boss monster or at least something terribly powerful, and so went back to the giant weasel room to fight.

When they entered the room, the brick boys noticed them immediately and pounced, one brick boy clinging to Jaru and one fighting Costin, the other riding the weasel and keeping it under "control". Costin dispatched the brick boy quickly, breaking it into smaller pieces, the same fate befalling the rowdy brick boy clinging to Jaru. I don't quite remember how they killed the weasel and the brick boy riding upon it, but I do remember it involved an attack to the throat, because it dislodged something within it. This something was a small ceramic statue of a rat, which (while the player's don't know this) is able to turn anything into a small mammal once/day.

After that I believe they all agreed to meet up back at the statue room before exploring any further (although that may have actually happened earlier and I may have just forgotten it). After meeting up, they went into the room after the room containing the bronze robot and the sea star. This room is a pit filled with fetid garbage and sewage, and a very nice garbage-eating monster which happily ferried them around the dungeon. Specifically, they asked to be taken to "the nearest source of weapons" for the cost of, I believe, a couple of the harvestman legs. Once taken there, they were able to grab some weapons, and they then went back to the garbage beast to be transported back to the weasel room to inspect the mysterious closet on the other end of the room, for the cost of one of the component parts of the brass robot.

They stood in front of this door, made of dark wood decorated with gold details. They opened this door. Inside of the door was a massive grey worm, shoved and stuffed into such a tiny area. The lumpy giant worm unfolded, squirming into the hallway and vomiting forth a handful of rowdy brick boys. They tried to attack each brick boy, Costin using his pet monitor lizard and Moon Frog doing spin attacks with his giant sword. Moon Frog also decided to slash at the worm down the middle, in an attempt to kill it. This really did nothing, as the worm was stuffed full of brick boys which all just surged out of the creature once it was sliced in half. Jaru, in an attempt to use their magic to solve something for what was probably the first time in the entire dungeon, tried to cast a spell to fill the area with a poisonous gas. They failed the spell roll, instead filling the area with an uncontrollable, poisonous, and explosive gas.

Moon Frog was going to spend all of his points of strength to do a kind of final, devastating blow, but as everyone was slowly being killed by the poisonous gas, Maxie, the one character who got pretty much within an inch of her life, decided to sacrifice herself to let all of the other adventurers live. They all grabbed their pets and their treasure, running as fast as they could while Maxie fired her rifle into the explosive gas, igniting it and blowing even the shack above the ground to bits. The dungeon collapsed, but two things escaped: 13 floating skulls, which flew off into the wilderness, and an old lizard woman, who totally won't show up again at some point (yeah she will).

And with that, the four remaining adventurers walk off to the town of Chamlet, to sell their loot and buy more stuff, and to meet two new friends.

The World With No Name Session 1 Report Part 1

So this game was like three weeks ago so i may be misremembering some stuff, but I'm going to be looking over my notes to jog my memory. This was the first time a couple of these people had ever played an rpg, and sadly one of my players wasn't able to come this first session, but everyone there got to make their characters at the start of the session. Edit: as it also turns out, this session had more stuff in it than I remembered, so I'm going to be splitting it up among multiple posts.

Cast Of Characters
Moon Frog, a Tocatl (humanoid fusion of a spider and a frog) with a massive sword
Costin, a half a foot tall homunculus with a pet monitor lizard
GRN 1000, a robot specially made for vacuuming
Maxie, a dark elf coming to the surface from her underground fungus plantation with some Charismatic Skills and a rifle
Jaru, a floriambler (mobile carnivorous plant that loves traveling) with magical power

So the session started with all of the above characters standing outside of a dingy shack in the hills, which they entered, searched around inside for a couple turns and found nothing, and then they found a hole in the back wall leading to an underground dungeon which they entered.

They all walk slowly down the old stairs, dirt crumbling down onto them and the wall being cut by the huge sword that Moon Frog wields. At the bottom of the staircase is a small room with a statue of a lizard person doing the baphomet pose. After searching the room and the statue for a bit, Moon Frog decided to lop off the hand pointed upwards. This ends up opening a secret door leading to a hallway just off the room, which ends in a small chamber containing nothing but a glass sphere holding 25 preserved owls. These are pretty valuable. The players figured out a way to break open the glass sphere without damaging the owls inside by breaking it and having GRN suck up as much glass as they could before it could damage the owls.

Back in the room with the statue, Maxie had the (actually very good) idea to break off the other hand of the statue to see if there were any other secret doors. However I did not have any other secret doors. Also however she decided that the best course of action was to shoot at the statue's hand with her rifle, which she then rolled poorly on and accidentally ended up shooting herself in the foot. Jaru used some medical knowledge and lucky rolls to wrap up the injured foot, but they were still limping pretty much for the rest of the dungeon.

After that fiasco, Jaru walked into the room to the south, disturbing the gambling that some tiny goblins made of bricks (which I call Brick Bogeys in my notes but which we just ended up calling Rowdy Brick Boys) were doing. They all pounced at them and started fighting, but didn't really do a whole lot and were ultimately defeated when some of the other players ran in and helped Jaru fight. After defeating the Rowdy Brick Boys, they grabbed up the meager change that they were gambling over and all walked into a hallway that lead to an adjoining room and another hallway.

When they walk closer to the other room, they begin to smell spices and delicious food. Inside of the kitchen is an undead Keeda (a race of human-faced worms) that is toiling over a cauldron and an oven, cooking stuff up. About half the party thought she was "super sketchy" as they put it, and the other half loved her almost on sight. I remember one player really loved her, but then she mentioned how she really wanted to eat the race that player was (floriambler) and then their opinion of her changed. Even if she was very divisive, they ended up giving her some of the preserved owls to turn into healing pies and one of them wanted to learn how to cook from her.

I don't remember exactly what happened to cause this, but I do remember that the group split in two over some squabble after that room. Moon Frog, GRN 1000, and Maxie went their own way while Jaru and Costin went in the other direction. The first group passed back through the gambling room and the statue room and then down another hallway, where they found the door to a room containing a toothy mouth in the floor which yelled at them to feed it. GRN 1000 shot pebbles down its throat, but it only became enraged after the third pebble and vomited forth tiny tongue goblins which fought the group. Some of them ganged up on the robot, corroding their metal with their spit, but ultimately the mouth was defeated by Maxie shooting at the mouth worm which had been hiding in the floor. It was after this that I finally rolled a random encounter, and their loud noises from the combat attracted what looked like two big fat rats. One of them clung to the clay plate armor that Moon Frog was wearing, and when Maxie tried to pry it off, its tail bit her in the face, surprising her and giving her a bleeding bite hole in the face. These weren't ordinary rats, but wormtails, rodents with toothy worms for tails, and while Maxie was bleeding out I believe Moon Frog broke the neck of the wormtail stuck to his armor and killed the other one, but the tails broke off and crawled away.

More next time...

I'm Back!

I apologize for the very long hiatus, I don't really have an excuse I just never really used this blog that much. I also apologize for the sudden change in post format, I was copying the format of a blog I had found and which I appreciated, with mixed results.

I've also started a game since last I posted! Technically I've started two, but the second game hasn't actually had a first session yet. The first game is set in my World With No Name Setting, which I will be posting about more in following posts, including session recaps that I will probably post the first of tomorrow. The World With No Name is a weird and wacky fantasy setting, with no humans and lots of monstrous playable races all set in a world mutated and ravaged by a history of weird people and weird magic, just on the cusp of a new industrial age (though still mostly pre-industrial). I've tried to do the ol Jeff Rients 20 Questions thing, applying it to the entire world that my setting is set in, but that just doesn't work. Instead, since I now have a much smaller scope game set in a specific part of the setting with specific characters, I can actually answer them, which I will do below!

THE JRIENTS 20 QUESTIONS: WORLD WITH NO NAME EDITION

1. What's the deal with my cleric's religion?
1. Well technically since I tend to use a classless system with this game I don't really have clerics, this question doesn't apply directly but I still have religions and I still have people who get mechanical benefits from religion so. The most prominent religion in the region is The Concordance Of Ahjax, a very exaggerated pseudo-catholic religion. The other big religion is The Pantheon Of Friends, a very nice chaos pantheon. Of course there's lots of other religions too, but those are the main ones in this region.
2. Where can we go to buy standard equipment?
1. The general store in Chamlet that's run by Kolya Skonoff the Bearded Dragon probably has what you are looking for, unless its weapons. Then you gotta go to the blacksmith in Chamlet, Didja Steelteef the Crocwoman. There's also definitely some stores in the other towns of the region.
3. Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?
1. Well most likely one or more of the players will be more monstrous and will require special armor, but Didja will definitely make that armor for you, for a price.
4. Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?
1. Ushitel the Teacher taught pretty much every single wacky wizard in the region, and they will all listen to her whenever she tells them to do something, no matter how powerful or insane they might seem. Wizards from other regions won't care about her, but that kind of influence sure is mighty.
5. Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
1. Anastasia Voin probably was back when she killed that dragon just to the south, but she's an old lady now and there's probably some bounty hunter that claims to have one upped her by now.
6. Who is the richest person in the land?
1. The Queen of Zerbia is probably the richest person in the region, if it isn't some merchant in Skajev. However, that's just in this region, there are definitely richer queens and merchants in other lands, even in the Draugr empire just to the north.
7. Where can we go to get some magical healing?
1. You can't. The closest you are gonna get is some experimental device made by one of Ushitel's apprentices or a mysterious meat from Jenny the Butcher in Chamlet, but otherwise you are just either gonna have to deal with it yourself, get a spellcaster in your party to do it, or go to a normal doctor. Magic stuff is probably gonna make you grow tumors anyways.
8. Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?
1. Doctor Bezumiye of Skajev claims to be able to cure anything, even death, but expect a couple extra special organs or some organs taken away if you go to his hospital. Undeath isn't really considered a bad thing in this setting (two of the starting playable races are undead), and there aren't any levels or alignments to drain or change.
9. Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join to get new spells?
1. There is the aforementioned Ushitel the Teacher, who will most definitely take in students and teach them new magic in between sessions.
10. Where can I find an alchemist, sage, or other expert NPC?
1. Ushitel and Didja of Chamlet will be able to answer questions about magic and clockwork respectively, and Doctor Bezumiye can answer those questions of a more medical nature, but in general there will definitely be an NPC somewhere that can answer your question, whether they are in a fancy laboratory in Skajev or they are just some wild hermit in the hills.
11. Where can I hire mercenaries?
1. There are plenty of hiring houses for more unsavory and violent types in Skajev and Soyim, plus there are always the more fanciful and boastful bounty hunters that you can hire if you can shell out the extra cash.
12. Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?
1. To get into Zerbia (a nation to the north), and thus also the city of Skajev, you have to get a passport, but other than that and the more mundane laws of that nation, there aren't many in this region.
13. Which way to the nearest tavern?
1. There's one in Chamlet, and there's bound to be one on every street corner in Soyim. Plus there's the Phantom Inn which can be found at crossroads at night, filled with spectres drinking their fill of ethereal ethyl.
14. What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?
1. There's still a handful of drakes left over from the dragon that Anastasia Voin killed, and some that are still born from the decaying corpse of that creature. There's also lots of roaming wizards, but those aren't necessarily ones you will be famous for killing, more for "defeating"
15. Are there any wars brewing I could fight?
1. The constant and chaotic ethnic conflict in the Peninsula could totally use a couple of adventurers to spice things up! However, the Peninsula is a bit outside of the general vicinity the players are in, but not really too far away.
16. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
1. The Brawling Pit in the middle of the wilderness is a strange indentation in the ground, where contestants wrestle more and more ridiculously larger and stronger foes, all overseen by a mysterious masked WrestleMaster that everybody assumes you fight last (nobody's gotten there yet). Even if you don't fight the WrestleMaster, you still get some cash. There's also bound to be some brawl rooms in Soyim, what with all the rowdy sailors there.
17. Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
1. Well of course, but they are secret for a reason!
18. What is there to eat around here?
1. The general store and butcher in Chamlet always have food, and there's plenty of fancy restaurants and cheap food establishments in Skajev, and plenty of fish-sellers and bakers in Soyim. Plus, if you want to try your hand at bread baking or want to eat raw grain, there's always the Grain Sea (and the creatures living inside of it). Plus, your coins are probably edible
19. Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
1. All of the drakes left over by the now dead dragon have little stashes of treasure, and there's all of the fancy niceties lost in the maze-like megadungeon of Franchia just a couple days (maybe a week) worth of travel. 
20. Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
1. Probably some drake wandering the hills or a corn serpent in the Grain Sea has a lot of treasure, but there's also those mysterious flying skulls that just showed up, maybe those are worth something?

Races of the World With No Name, Part 1

The World With No Name is my primary pure fantasy setting, with all of the wizards, orcs, dragons, and dungeons that you know and love. Except it is actually more of a science-fiction setting where the majority of the people are uneducated superstitious peasants and thus think that all of the science is magic and that all of the creatures of the world were created in an instant by some god. Of course, there are definitely gods, they just aren't omnipotent nor universe-creating.

Below there are the basic descriptions of many of the races of this world, along with false beliefs regarding them and their true origins.

The Serpent People
The Serpent People died out many thousands of years ago, possibly millions of years ago. They had empires that spanned the entire world, they studied the origins and machinations of magic, they fought or were allies with the ancient elves, and they had incredible lifespans. What made them fall nobody knows, but now there lie in many parts of the world the strange metal, stone, and plastic machines and buildings of these ancient people, forever rotting despite their enhanced strength of material

Many of the things above are true. However, there is one thing that most people do not know about these snake folk; they used advanced genetic engineering and other sciences to create a vast amount of the races and creatures that crawl the world today.

Like this, but with more blood and claws and tumors

The Elves
I've written about elves before. Basically, they are sadistic pieces of crap.

Elves are just as old, if not older, than the Serpent People. However, unlike those snake men, Elves come from some otherworldly star or planet. The ones on our world have been stranded here for millions upon millions of years, slowly tearing the planet apart limb from limb. Elves are like an intergalactic disease, traveling from world to world only to destroy, maim, decay, and burn all in order to entertain their terrible immortal minds. They are chaotic beings from another world, and all (or most) fae creatures in the universe are descended from the original extraterrestrial stock. Elves in our world may come in many sorts, but those in space have horrifying monstrous variety. Many alien peoples know to flee when they see a vast and blubbery elfin leviathan barreling down through their atmosphere, ridden by and pregnant with the murderous violent spawn that will implode that planet.

The Humans
Humans come from many different cultures and races in our world, and they are the majority race, at least on the surface and in civilized lands.

Humans were modified from primitive and ancient apes by the Serpent People. They came in a handful of varieties that were bred for different uses, ranging from sport hunting to arena fighting to beauty pageants to information storage, which all interbred and merged together after the death of the snake empires, forming the hominid race that lives, breathes, and eats on the surface of our planet.

Upper Dwarf

The Dwarfs
Dwarfs are short human relatives that live primarily underground, and come in two main varieties.

Lower Dwarf

The first are known primarily as "Upper Dwarfs", and they are the more well known sort. Upper Dwarfs live closer to the surface, and they are short, squat, fat, and hairy. Upper Dwarfs are superstitious and xenophobic, extremely paranoid and obsessed with the forthcoming apocalypse that will wipe out all fleshy life. They create their numerous structures, statues, and robotic creations for the purpose of "surviving" after the Meatpocalypse destroys their fragile forms, and they hoard precious objects for the same purpose. Their religion is based on a mixture of the movements of the sky (astrology and astronomy) and the movements of the earth (geology), and is much more like a system of superstition than an organized religion. Upper Dwarfs are wary around strangers, and hide many, many things from them. Each dwarfish city-state has its own culture, but there are many things that shared between them (such as their religion).

The second sort of dwarf is the "Lower Dwarf", which is found in the deepest caverns and subterranean expanses. They are pale-skinned and bright-eyed, with frail and slight frames wrapped in slimy and nigh-hairless skin. They do not have large civilization, and live underground in roving gangs and tribes. They crawl on the ceilings and walls of caverns, hoarding bones, coins, rocks, and anything else they find interesting. They are quite bestial, and have no qualms over stealing and murdering anything that has something tasty or shiny in its pockets or on its bones.

Dwarfs were also created from primitive apes by the Serpent People, but they were made for more specific purposes than humans originally were. Dwarfs were crafted and bred for two primary uses: work and war. Their emotions and minds were controlled by snake chemicals and machines, to make sure they were subservient and unwavering when working, or violent and unrelenting when fighting. These chemicals and machines have been gone for generations, leading to the widespread dwarfish paranoia and xenophobia that is widespread today, among other neurological disorders. Lower Dwarfs evolved from those original dwarfs that had been isolated in the deepest caves for centuries, changing their forms to fit their cavernous environs.

He's probably hiding a big fat queen in his attic

The Halflings
Halflings are short and slight human relatives that lived in burrows and hives out in plains regions, before they were more forcefully integrated into human societies. Unknown to most humans, they live in eusocial hives ruled by a great and corpulent queen that births all of the hobbits in the nest, with most of the hive being sterile and muscular females. They function very similarly to eusocial insects, but they are hominid in origin. In human societies, however, they will typically hide their queens in a basement or attic, and will attempt to mimic a family usual to the human culture they are present in. There are also many halflings that have left their queens, and those half-pints are called Street Goblins. They live in chaotic and unstable gangs and tribes in the streets of cities and towns, stealing from rich people, begging on the sides of streets, brawling in alleys, etc. Halflings have been created with subservience in mind, either to a Serpent Person or to a queen, and when they have no leader they devolve into instability and violence. Street Goblins are able to reproduce without the need for a queen, though how is unknown.

Halflings, similarly to the races above, were created by the Serpent People. They were engineered as easily disposable pets and messengers, with queens created to produce mass quantities of these small humanoids. Their brains were wired to serve a leader, and their bodies were made small and slight in order to easily produce them cheaply. When the Serpent People all died out, this leader instinct and small frame coincided to create the eusocial halfling burrows and hives. However, since queens were expensive to maintain, as they required fairly large amounts of food, each and every halfling drone (the sterile female halflings) have a built-in ability to produce a single child agametically, which can be activated with certain chemicals in order to produce a quick messenger.

I said they came in staggering variety

The Hoblings, Hobs, and Bugbears
Hoblings are small humanoid goblins that come in great uncanny and monstrous variety, with some looking just like small humans and others have more mutated features. Hobs are created when a Hobling reaches a certain age (varies from population to population), and enters a puberty-like stage, growing and mutating into a strong and human-sized Hob. Bugbears are a third stage in the life cycle of a Hob, and are born when either a Hobling or a Hob dies. After death, a Hobling or Hob decays and fills with insects, worms, grubs, bacteria, fungi, plants, and beasts of all sorts, becoming a monstrous undead abomination with glowing eyes of fireflies and squirming decomposers under its hairy and stretched skin, crawling on the fragile and dusty bones of the goblin.

Hoblings and Hobs are both quite different in behavior. Hoblings may seem fearful and naive, but in reality that hides a veneer of manipulation and stealth. Hoblings might seem like nothing more than simple thralls, but they are actually the ones pulling the strings. Hobs are more straight forward, and more often will bully others into submission rather than manipulation, though they are still quite conniving and controlling. Both Hobs and Hoblings are incredibly militaristic and greedy, and they love to take things from others and hurt others simply because they can. Bugbears, on the other hand, are sneaky shadow monsters and bogeymen, crawling through the night and stealing into houses and homes to their unknown deeds.

Hobs are one of the very few creation of the Elves, and were originally created as toys just to torture and as agents of the fae monsters. Hoblings were made as slight sneaks and masters of stealth, their many slight fingers useful as weapons and tools. Hobs were made more as soldiers, and they were trained to use brute force and violence to hold sway. Both stages of development become Bugbears after death simply because the Elves did not wish to lose vital assets to them. The extreme change over time was done to save on resources. Even though it may not be obvious at first, these creatures were made through collaboration with the Serpent People, during one of the periods when the two races were allies and friends.

The Orcneas
I've already written about Orcneas (they have undergone a name change). Basically, they are violent and murderous, but pretty friendly.

The Orcneas were created by the Serpent People as war machines. Dwarfs comprised the majority of soldiers (there were some Serpent soldiers as well), but Orcneas were like living tanks, siege engines, and cannons, or like berserkers, myrmidons, and other horrifically skilled and violent soldiers. Those larger sorts are called Ogres. Orcneas populations were kept low by the Serpent People, but after their death there were great booms in Orcneas populations, slowly turning into the horribly violent race known today. Their name is descended from the Serpent words for "Eaters of Corpses", due to them being fed on the rotting cadavers left behind after a battle. Orcneas are actually one of the few races made by the Serpent People who were not controlled chemically, but they were brainwashed and taught that violence and war was a game.

More is Coming Soon

The Monk for LotFP

So i finally got an actual physical copy of the LotFP book! And I have promptly begun putting sticky notes in it to fill it with my houserules. So here's some houserules that I cam up with a few days ago regarding a new class (its really a sub-class though)!

The Monk (A Class for LotFP)
Parent Class: Priest (Cleric)
Hit Dice: d6 (+2/level after 9)
Attack Bonus: 1/2 level, rounded down (see below)
Saving Throws: as Priest
XP to Level 2: 2,750 (2,250 if paying a tithe (1,750 if paying all money beyond bare necessities)

Monks have the following class features:

• When making unarmed attacks, their attack bonus is equal to their level (rather than 1/2 it). Certain melee weapons allow for this as well (whichever are favored by the sect the monk is from). If their sect doesn't focus on unarmed fighting, then it can be switched out for certain weapon types.
• The damage dealt by unarmed attacks begins as 1d4 (if using favored weapons, simply add the die type to the weapon's damage). This damage increases every odd level (d4 to d6 at level 3, d8 at level 5, d10 at level 7, d12 at level 9, d14 at level 11, etc.).
• They can use their WIS score instead of their AC for defense purposes. Alternatively, they can add their WIS modifier to their AC in addition to DEX.
• They save as a priest of 1 level higher than their actual level.
• Monks have certain powers tied to their sect. This can be the healing of injuries for a college of doctor monks, or the summoning of elemental powers for monks of arcane science. For all powers, follow the following guidelines:
• Every level, the monk can either increase the power of the ability or the probability of success. For example, with the healing example, say it begins healing d4 hit points, with a chance of it instead hurting the individual more than they already are. When the monk levels up, they can either increase the HP healed to a d6, while keeping the chance of injury the same, or they can decrease the chance of injury but keep the HP regained at a d4.

Example Monk Sects

The Healing Church 

Can heal individuals of their injuries with their elixirs, pills, and equipment that they carry with them everywhere. This begins healing d4 HP (only Flesh, rather than Grit (though many monks of this sect carry with them supplies for that as well)), with a 3 in 6 chance of taking the HP from the individual, rather than giving it. Every level, they either increase the HP healed (d4 to d6, etc.) or decrease the chance of failure (becomes 3 in 8, etc.)

Monks of the Healing Church are more like traveling doctors, who specialize in the healing of more magical and monstrous illnesses. Instead of healing HP, the monk can increase the chance of failure to 6 in 6 (or 6 in 8, 6 in 10, etc.) (using LotFP rules for skill checks) to attempt to reverse such effects.

Monks of the Healing Church are trained in the use of edged weapons and clubs (both of which are extremely useful in surgery), rather than the unarmed fighting of the monk detailed above.

The Cult of the Frog God

These cultists are trained in strange magics that allow them to transform themselves into powerful frog monsters at-will. This lasts for 1 turn (at first), with a 4  in 6 chance of instead turning into a simple powerless frog for the time wished. The abilities of the frog beast improve as the monk wishes, but what powers these are is determined by you.

Monks of the Cult of the Frog God are trained in only the most simple of weapons when in human form (daggers), but when in frog form all of their attacks count as if they were proficient in them.

Monks of the Cult of the Frog God must do strange arcane rituals to retain their shapeshifting abilities. These are usually determined by whichever branch of the cult is nearest to them, but sometimes the cultist will see visions ordering them what to do. These rituals include eating frog eggs from a pond, dissecting a frog alive and eating its organs, keeping an amphibian as a pet for a set number of days without it being hurt, or sacrificing much of your wealth to a well or lake.

Two More Classes for The World With No Name

I've found this custom XP guide made by Nick Peterson. It's made for Labyrinth Lord, but by changing it a bit, removing level limits from the calculation, and ignoring most limitations on armor, weapons, and magic items, I can create fairly balanced custom XP charts for all of my classes. I've calculated the two classes I made in my last class post for their XP, and here's what I got in the end:

The Puppet: 1,580 XP to reach level 2
The Goremaster: 2,020 XP to reach level 2

I've also created custom XP for the following two classes: The Aquatic and The Barber-Surgeon.

The Aquatic
Hit Dice: d8 (+2/level after 9th)
Attack Bonus: Equal to level
Saving Throws: as Elf
XP to Level 2: 2,080

You are a member of some underwater race. You might be a fishman, or a walking octopus, or a kappa, or the child of a union of piscine peoples and humans.

• You can breathe underwater and on land.
• You have a swim speed equal to your walking speed (120' when unencumbered)
• You switch Constitution and Charisma, but only if Charisma is higher than Constitution
• Your appearance is based on two rolls that function like the descriptors of a fighter (d10). If you roll two appearances that go against each other, keep the later one and re-roll the first.
• Frog: Can jump great distances
• Turtle: AC bonus of +2
• Eel: Limbless. Has control over water.
• Axolotl: Regenerates 1 HP every turn
• Isopod: Can climb walls
• Fish: Fangs or bite attack that deals 1d4 damage, using Strength
• Octopus: Has multiple appendages (tentacles)
• Whale: Is very large (-2 to hit small targets such as halflings), like 7 or 8 feet tall.
• Tardigrade: Is very tiny (cannot use large weapons), has +2 to all saving throws
• Crab: AC bonus of +1, claw attack (1d6, using Strength)

The Barber-Surgeon

Hit Dice: d6 (+2/level after 9th)

Attack Bonus: 1/2 level, rounded down

Saving Throws: as Magic-User

XP to Level 2: 1,250

You are a "doctor" who is skilled in the arts of bloodletting and amputation. You also are quite skilled with the scissors and the shampoo.

• You can perform bloodletting that heals a number of d4s of HP equal to your level. This is done by making a Medicine skill check (the skill that this class is especially proficient in (begins at 3 in 10 chance)). If it succeeds, the HP rolled is added to the HP of whomever you are performing the procedure on. If it fails, the HP rolled is removed from the HP of whomever you are performing the procedure on.
• In combat, you can roll a d6 to see if your attack severs a limb. This increases at the same rate as the Search skill of the Elf does in the rulebook. If the roll succeeds, then you roll 1d4 to determine which limb is amputated: 1-right arm, 2-left arm, 3-right leg, 4-left leg. If a one is rolled, then the head of the enemy is removed, killing them instantly.
• You can create an anesthetic that can knock out someone for a number of minutes equal to your level. This costs 200 SP, and gives you bonus time for every additional 100 SP spent on it. The additional time is equal to 1/2 your level (30 seconds at level 1). The victim gets a save vs. Paralysis to combat it.

Babel, The Tower Of Spirits

In the seas toward the equator of the world, there juts forth a great tower. It is the only above-water sign of an ancient civilization that lived here once, before their resplendent metropolis was sucked beneath the waves. This structure was their greatest achievement, for it grew so high so as to break into the heavens themselves. When the rest of their magnificent empire fell beneath the ocean, this great tower still stood, and still stands today, as a testament to the powers and knowledge of that great nation, for no others have been able to construct such a tower.

The peoples of the islands that surround this tower want some of that knowledge and power. They will pay nearly anything to have folks who hold their lives in less regard delve into the unknown depths of this tower and retrieve the ancient artifacts and knowledge of the long-dead empire.

And you really must have almost no regard for your life and for your safety to enter the tower. In the centuries and millennia since it fell, it has become overrun with monsters and creatures of all sorts. The upper levels, those that force themselves into the void of heaven, are filled with all sorts of alien creatures, such as angels. The lower levels, those that are beneath the waves, have become overrun with sea devils and other oceanic monsters. These creatures, along with those constructs and beasts left over by the ancient civilization, mutated or eroded by the forces brought into the structure, guard the secrets of the ancient peoples.

Essentially, this is a megadungeon concept that becomes more dangerous the higher up and the lower down you go, rather than just in one direction. Some specific factions, items, and monsters that might be found in Babel, The Tower Of Spirits are detailed below.

Normal DnD Creatures in Babel

The rats here are like fish. Or they are like light. Mundane creatures look more normal the closer to the center of the tower they are, but the lower down or the higher up you go, you will find that they have changed to suit the environment. In the lowest levels, the rats look like quadrupedal fish with unblinking eyes and toothy maws. In the highest levels, the rats look like balls of light with four spindly legs. Mostly, you will just use the same statistics, but switch out appearances.

The zombies that are low down are bloated with water and the skeletons are covered with kelp and sea stars. Vampires have eyes of black and mouths like lampreys and can become goblin sharks or clouds of hagfish slime. In the upper levels, zombies are the corpses of those who have died, possessed by space ghosts or alien energies. They do not decay because of the alien effect on their flesh. Those upper levels have additional shadows even in places where light shines. Vampires of these upper levels are featureless and smooth, until they open their mouth and you see a hole ringed with teeth of glass.

Cephalopoid mind flayers hide in the darker corners of the lower levels, and eye-covered beholders float through the halls of the upper levels.

Not Normal DnD Creatures in Babel

Angels live in the higher levels. They are made of rings of gold and balls of fire. They are covered in circles of eyes and limbs of animals. They speak only in the language that the stars throw at each other in the voids between them. These are spirits of order whose goals are harmful to meaty creatures such as humans, for flesh is chaotic and disorderly. They can take forms of meat, but only do so begrudgingly, and they remove creatures from their prisons of meat to bring them in contact with the greater order of the universe. They fall into orders, levels, and circles, and each celestial being has a role and a place. (angels will be described more in-depth in another post)

Saratan, the great crab, controls one of the lower levels. They are the size of an island, and on their back there lives a culture of piscine peoples.

Alien fungi and extraterrestrial flora grow on the higher levels. Those who breathe in the spores and the pollen contract unknown diseases and alien allergies, and some might become the mold-controlled puppets called Spore Cosmonauts.

Some fish and other ocean animals have adapted themselves for the slightly less wet corridors and rooms of the lower levels. These are angler fish that crawl around on the ceilings and floors of the tower and octopi that bound along, hunting anything they near.

Factions of The Islands

A cult that worships the fish gods Father Dagon and Mother Hydra want artifacts and creatures from the lower levels. Some even say that their gods dwell in the deepest parts of the tower, and they will pay ludicrously to bring some of them to these piscine deities.

A church of Bog wishes for more information about the kingdoms of heaven and about the nature of Bog. If you retrieve information about either of those things from a bonafide angel, they will pay you handsomely. They would also totally be down to get some holy relics to treasure or unholy false idols to destroy.

A slave ship has arrived recently. The people here consider slavery horrible, for it infringes upon the freedoms of the people, but they don't consider the fish folk people, so they're completely fine if you kidnap some fish people from the tower and sell them to the slavers. The slavers will pay additional money for aquatics, as they can work in underwater environments.

There is a wizard that requires the ichors and the parts of angels for spells that they are working on. They will reward with not just silver, but also with the spells and magical items themselves, if you promise not to share them too much.

The tribe on a small island near the tower considers it to be the home of their god. They hate their god. If you can bring back the head of their god, they will reward you with fame and honor, as well as a high standing in the tribe.

Four Undead

The Zombi and The Skeleton

The zombi and the skeleton are two creatures most commonly created by necromancers. They are both created using the same sort of vile magick, with the only difference being the level of decomposition present in the walking cadaver. Zombis can even be made from living people, though once they are under the necromancer's control, there is almost no way to get them back.

The consciousness of a zombi or of a skeleton is under the control of the necromancer, and thus, these creatures have no amount of self preservation. If they catch on fire, they will keep on kicking until the last piece of ash is blown away in the wind. If all that is left of a zombi is a pile of viscera, the bloody pulp will ooze along, still going at its task. Even if the brain of the zombi is removed from its body, the necromancer will retain control of both parts, and you have just made a slow cerebral ooze and a stumbling walking corpse. The only way to defeat a zombi or a skeleton is to completely destroy every single part of it. Just getting it down to 0 HP isn't going to cut it.

Even though the necromancer has control over the body of the undead creature, occasionally the real consciousness of the body will break through. You might hear it scream for help or suddenly run away from you before walking back at you. If the necromancer dies, the zombis and skeletons that now control their own bodies will try to enact vengeance on the bokor, and might burn the body, eat it, or simply tear it limb from limb. However, they are still definitely affected by their time under the control of the wizard, and so they have to resist every urge to devolve into a mindless walking corpse.

The Ghoul and The Ghast

Ghouls are created by a terrible plague that makes you into a horrible cannibalistic monster (called the Cannibal's Illness). It slowly makes you into an almost human monster that only wishes to gorge itself on meat. Your eyes glaze over and you forget about who you once were. You become an immortal abomination filled with disease and decay, and every injury just causes you to become more monstrous and mutated.

Something cuts off your arm, and you regrow an arm that is almost a good arm, but not quite. Meanwhile, your arm that was once connected to your body grows into a smaller ghoul that just has a huge arm. Both of these monsters are you. If you are cut in half, each side regrows the other side, but it might be covered in tumors or eyes or teeth. Your heart is ripped from your body, and it just grows spindly legs from your veins, and crawls on the ground, spitting ghoul blood on everything. A new ghoul might look like someone who just needs a shower or a bandage or two. An old ghoul is covered in tumors and veins, with two blind heads and a mouth filled with almost shark-like teeth.

By Jonathan Wojcik of Bogleech, for his upcoming game Mortasheen!

Ghouls might remember a thing or two of their life as a human. They might remember taxes, or the king, or they might remember children. They might even remember how to make them! If a ghoul tries to reproduce with another decaying abomination, it will probably work. It won't produce a normal baby, and it won't produce a really small ghoul. No, reproduction between these undead monsters creates the strange creatures known as ghasts. These monsters might look like a deformed baby, or they might look like a huge embryonic dragon-like beast. Crawling mountains of conjoined fetuses, hive-like infants filled with parasitic flies, anencephalic gremlins, and even more diversity of these undead descendants are produced when two or more ghouls try to make a child.

Also by Jonathan Wojcik for Mortasheen

If you have contracted the Cannibal's Illness and are not yet a ghoul, you are what is called a half-ghoul. You will forget you family and friends and your life before you started becoming an undead monstrosity. You will be overcome with the urge to eat constantly, and only ever eat meat. Plants and other foods will turn to sand, mud, or dirt on your tongue. Slowly, you will lose all thought beyond eat, and eventually you will become a ghoul.

Also for Mortasheen

Two Classes for the World With No Name

Eventually, you might look like Oogie Boogie

The Puppet

Hit Dice: d6 (+2/level after 9th)

Experience: as Thief

Attack Bonus: 1/2 level, rounded down

Saving Throws: as Cleric

It is well known that creatures in groups form consciousnesses together. That's why ants and bees can do such coordinated tasks, and why sometimes people dream the same dream. The puppet is an example of this. It is a human or otherwise humanoid skin that is puppeted around by insects, arachnids, or some other type of small creature. You begin with only a small amount of these animals, but the number increases as you go up with level, and the creatures attract more of their sort. Puppet characters have the following class features:

• You have a number of puppeteers equal to your HP.
• When you have fewer creatures, you are lighter and speedier. Your exploration speed is 140', and you switch your Dexterity and Strength scores, but only if Strength is higher than Dexterity.
• For every 5 creatures above 6, remove 1 point from Dexterity and put it into Strength. Your speed also decreases; it goes down by 10' every 4 levels (5th level, 9th level, etc.)
• You can send your controllers to go on missions such as spying. For every puppeteer sent out, you lose 1 HP.
• Magical healing kills any controller creatures that are away from your body and births new ones in your skin.
• You can use your puppeteers for some tasks that are more specific than what can be done as stated above:
• You can use the Tinker skill as a Thief of equal level. This is affected by your Dex modifier.
• You can use the Sleight of Hand skill as a Thief of equal level. This is affected by your Dex modifier.
• You can take control of another creature by sending a number of creatures equal to its HD+5 into it. It must make a save vs. paralysis to resist the effect. For each bonus Hit Point, you must send in another creature.
• You have +1 to both your Paralysis and Poison saves, and +5 to your breath save. However, for every 6 creatures controlling your hollow skin, you receive a -1 penalty to your Breath saving throw.

With some work, you might look like the Tarman

The Goremaster

Hit Dice: d8 (+3/level after 9th)

Experience: as Fighter

Attack Bonus: 1/2 level, rounded up

Saving Throws: as Fighter

You are a walking car accident or murder scene. You revel in injury and viscera, and have no reaction to harm, unless you love it. You might look normal now, but you can just fill the area with your blood and guts at a moment's notice. How is unknown, but you can! Goremaster characters have the following class features:

• At level 1, you take 1 point less damage from nonmagical sources (fire, weapons, etc.). However, you are still injured by them. They just don't faze you. At level 3, you take 2 fewer points of damage. At level 6, you take minimum damage from nonmagical sources, and 1 point less damage from magical sources.
• At level 1, you can explode yourself. Everybody within 30' is splatted with your blood and viscera and must make a save vs. paralysis or faint/puke for 1d6 rounds. You reform after 1 round, at an amount of HP equal to your HD plus your Con mod (minimum 1).
• At level 6, you can control the flesh within other creature's bodies. Thus, you can make them explode just like you. However, they don't reform unless you make them. If you try to kill them, they can make a save vs. magic, with a penalty equal to your level, minus 5. At first, you can only control the flesh of creatures within 10', but it increases by 5' every level.
• At level 9, you can animate other people's flesh into semi-autonomous gore constructs. They have HD equal to the creature they were made from, AC equal to them when unarmored, 1 attack (1d8), and saves as a fighter of your level. 
• If you are not wearing armor, your AC is equal to 10+Dex mod+Con mod. If you are not wearing skin, you have a variable bonus, based on what your AC is unarmored:
• 10-12: +6
• 13-14: +4
• 15-16: +2
• You have +2 to your Paralysis and Poison saves.

Towards More Interesting Bandits

Bandits
Bandit tribes and gangs should have evocative names and interesting subcultures and whatnot. Essentially, I'm just gonna share some bandit tribes that I came up with earlier today for a hexcrawl I'm working on, as well as some new ones. The base stats for the Bandit are:

HD: 1
AC: 14
Attacks: 1 (weapon)
Damage: Varies by weapon (typical weapon is listed with bandit tribe description)
Movement: 120'
Intellect: 9-12
Morale: 7
If bandits are found traveling, then you will encounter 2d6 of them. If they are found at their own camp, you will encounter 3d10 of them. Other special features are based on their tribe/gang.

Some Bandit Tribes
The Bloodies: They drench themselves with blood before fighting. If fighting without blood on their body, they have -2 to all of their rolls. They typically arm themselves with swords (1d6+2).
The Eye-Gougers: They gouge their eyes out with knives. Some wear eyepatches or blindfolds. They have -4 to hit with attacks, but attacks deal double damage (1d4 becomes 2d4). They arm themselves with knives (1d4)
The Biters: They crawl on fours, completely naked, and attack by biting, rather than using weapons. They have +4 to hit with their bite attack (1d6), and have +1 to hit with all other attacks. Some might think they are druids.
The Garbage Men: They cover themselves with trash and other rotting things. Creatures around them must succeed a save vs. paralysis or fall unconscious because of the stench for 1d4 rounds. They typically carry clubs (1d6+1)
The Crack Heads: They break open their skulls and let the brains within be free for at least a few moments. Every round, they must make a Con check (con is 2d6+6) or fall unconscious for 1d6 rounds. They can cast spells as a level 1d6+1 MU. They are armed with clubs (1d6+1)
The Chains: They wrap rusty chains around their body that can snatch people from wear they stand. When they make an attack, they can choose to forego the attack and instead wrap the target up in the chains. The target must make an opposed Strength check every round to escape (bandit strength is 4d6, drop the lowest). They typically carry knives (1d4)
The Drunkards: They fill themselves with booze before fighting. When drunk, they have -1 to their AC and attack rolls, but +5 to all of their saving throws. They carry broken bottles (1d4+2).
The Ghouls: They are emaciated, almost undead-looking. During combat, they can eat a corpse to gain the attack bonus, AC, and saving throws of the dead person for the next hour. They attack with their claws (1d6+1)
The Gemini: They are tied together with ropes and tubes that share their blood. All of their statistics are doubled (except for AC and speed) (thus, they have 2 HD, 2 attacks per round, etc.). Some of them are actually connected by flesh.
The Highwaymen: They wear elaborate costumes and strange guises. In addition to their normal stats, they have the abilities of a level 2d4 thief. They can backstab and use burglary skills.
The Turtles: They have thick shells or carapaces strapped to their backs. As an action, they can retract into these shells. The shell has AC 18, but their body is still AC 14. The shell has 2d6 HP.
The Stilt Storks: They strap their legs on thin, yet strong, stilts so that they can be above the people they are fighting. The legs must be broken before you can attack the bandits in melee. They have AC 16 and 3d6 HP.

Orcs

Orcs are bad news, but they can be talked to. Elves are alien and will murder and burn with reckless abandon, no matter what you say. Orcs can be reasoned with. Orcs have families and children. Even though they do have a culture of violence and don't understand death, they are much more likely to not kill you and your family if you talk to them.

Orcs worship gods that are constantly warring. Their priests drape themselves with bloody spines and crawl through the remains of battles, reading the future through the gore and viscera. All orcs carry weapons, except for the infants, who hunt with their claws and their fangs. Orc currency is skulls and teeth that they take from corpses and their fellow orcs. They make goblins work for them with intimidation, but still treat them better than humans do. They are allies with the hobgoblins, and orchestrate great war campaigns.

Orcs are obsessed with violence, but they see it as more of a game. They think that after they die, they are reborn as another orc, ready to crawl through the gore and claw at anything it sees with its new baby claws. They see death as only an obstacle, and the orc afterlife is either a gauntlet of combat that you must fight through to come back to life (if you were a good orc and murdered as many people and things as you could) or a small village, filled with seemingly friendly people who are actually extremely judging and prejudiced. You must survive in that hell of toxic people with no murder and arson for a few years, and then you come back.

Since orcs are actually extremely innocent and trusting, but love violence and war, they are taken advantage of my more tactically-minded creatures, such as hobgoblins. Even though the Church of Bog has made it so that most people today regard the orcs as some verminous sort of human, many past human societies, as well as non-Boggian cultures throughout the world, graciously accept orcs into their armies and societies. However, special systems have to be made to make sure that these orcs do not kill and burn things that they don't want killed and burned, and so they are usually drafted as low-level cannon fodder in armies, or as gladiators in arenas, where they can be told what things are okay to destroy easily. If an orc child is brought up in another society, they will become like a normal member of that culture, but when an infant they will still hunt for food. There are several cases of elves stealing orc babies and beating them into some unstoppable military force. And by beating, I mean literally beating and abusing them to do their terrible bidding.

Orcs are actually much nicer than the dwarfs and those human cultures touched by the Church of Bog. If you encounter them, they will probably help you if you are in danger, or accompany you through the wilderness. You just have to get used to them catching themselves on fire or storing their swords in their torso and be accompanied by the frenzied, cannibalistic infant orcs.

Orcs never stop growing. Some of the older orcs reach heights of 10 feet or higher, and some rumor that there are 25 foot tall orcs that fight dragons and giants deep in the wilderness.

The Orc (Race)
Class Restrictions Orcs can play every class
Special Abilities Orcs have the following special abilities and features:

• +Strength, -Intelligence (orcs switch their Strength and Intelligence scores, but only if Intelligence is higher than Strength)
• When you reach 0 HP, you can choose to go back up to 1 HP, rather than making the saving throw. You gain an injury from doing this, however. This can only be done once per day.
• Your attack bonus is equal to half your level, rounded up, rather than what is normally indicated for your class (unless you are playing a fighter).
• Orcs save at +3 to paralysis and +4 to poison.

The Orc (Monster)

HD: 1+1

AC: 16

Attacks: 1

Damage: 1d6+2

Movement: 120'

Intellect: 4-7

Morale: 7

The typical orc will have the abilities of a level 2 fighter. 50% of all orcs will be of the typical variety, with 15% being higher level fighting-types, 15% being clerical types, 15% being magic-users, and 5% being of the thief class. They will almost always be found in groups, accompanied by baby orcs, as well as goblins. They will almost never check morale, only if there is extreme danger.

A very dirty baby orc. Just give it sharp teeth.

Orc, Baby

HD: 1-1

AC: 14

Attacks: 2 (claw/claw or claw/bite)

Damage: 1d4 claw, 1d6 bite

Movement: 115'

Intellect: 3

Morale: 12

Their claw attack has a +3 bonus to hit, and their bite attack has a +2 bonus to hit. They never, ever check morale, and will only run away if taken by the older orcs. They can climb up walls at the same speed that they can crawl on the ground. These orcs are much more likely to be found alone, but their presence typically heralds a camp of orcs not too far away.

Elves

Elves are bad news. They will steal your children, make your crops shrivel, and curse your body. They will crawl into your house at night and murder everyone but you, redecorating with their viscera. It is easy to find an elf because of the trail of disease, discord, gore, and ruin that they leave behind them. Or it will be impossible to find an elf because they hide themselves just outside of your vision. If you meet an elf, you will know. They look human in outline, but they are definitely not human. Their eyes might have slit pupils, or no pupils at all. Their mouth might just have the small cutting teeth of a child, or they might have layers upon layers of needles. They might bleed oil that glows in darkness, or hunts creatures as if it were an ooze. They might have the horns of a goat or the antlers of a stag. They might have the tail of a cow or of a monkey, or scales like a reptile or a fish. They might have cracks in their skin, or skin like porcelain, obsidian, tree bark, or metal. Elves are monsters.

A family of elves

Elves are faerie creatures. All fae are horrible, but elves are just some of the most numerous. There are many things that are the bane of elf-kind. Iron and salt destroy their being as well as their flesh, and certain charms have strange effects on them. Elves are confused by faith, just as they are confused by other things of the more mortal world, but they fear clerics. That's because they know that whatever god or spirit the priest is praying to doesn't exist, but they get seemingly limitless, miraculous power from their belief in them and their confidence alone. Clerics are possibly the only thing that elves fear.

Elves might do terrible things, but they aren't evil. They are just alien. They have a complete disregard for more mortal life, and especially human life. They do not care. They only see you as something to be toyed with for their enjoyment.

While everybody knows that elves are dangerous, they don't often know that their animals are dangerous too. If an elf is riding a horse, its probably a unicorn. If an elf is accompanied by a dog, its probably a Coo Sidhe (Coo Shee). The flies around an elf's head are piskies, and the cat is a strange familiar.

The Elf (Class)
The elf is exactly the same as in the normal LotFP rules, but with the following changes:

• The spellcasting change elaborated in this post.
• They take 1.5 times more damage from iron weapons.
• They take 1 point of damage from salt.
• They take 1 point of damage for every point above 10 from iron armor.
• If you choose iron armor/weapons or an animal at character creation, rather than being normal, there are the following changes:
• Iron tools are made from the strange elfmetal (also called mithril)
• Horses are unicorns with hit dice 3+3
• Dogs are Coo Sidhe
• You don't need to eat, but you really like eating, so you drain the food supplies as normal.
• You don't need to sleep (see below)
• You can go into the world of faerie at-will. This (sort of) replaces sleep, as if you stay in the more mortal world, you become less magical and more mortal, losing your magical powers. The more you become mortal, the more difficult it is to go into faerie.
• They cast spells from their own spell list, rather than the MU spell list.
• They are able to see in darkness.
• + Charisma, - Constitution (they switch their Int and Con scores if Con is higher than Int)

The Elf (Monster)

HD: 1+1

AC: 14

Attacks: 1

Damage: 1d8+1

Movement: 120'

Intellect: 16-18

Morale: 10

The average elf will have the abilities of a level 3 elf. If they are accompanied by animals, they will be monstrous (horses will be unicorns, dogs will be Coo Sidhe). There is a 65% chance that they will be of a higher or lower level than third. They will only check morale if the cleric in the party prays for a miracle. They will attack with daggers typically, but they can employ their claws, which deal 1d6+1 damage. Both attacks have +2 to hit, unless they are a higher or lower level. 

The Church of Bog

The Church of Bog is a very popular religion that has spread throughout a fairly sizeable chunk of the world. It began in the city-state of Gorod, a center of trade and commerce, and spread primarily through the trade of ideas that occurred at the same time as the trade of goods.

The Prophetess when she was alive.

The Prophetess Prorok
Gorod was primarily a polytheistic city, where the faiths of the many peoples that came and went to and from the metropolis mixed together. Then, the Prophetess Prorok had a vision and began the Church of Bog.

She described a great being, with three naked bodies joined at a gargantuan head. The head has three faces and five eyes, and each body is different. The body to the left pregnant, and has skin the color of the wet earth and has hairs made of the plants of the earth. The body in the center is slender and quick-looking, with no hair and skin like fire or wind. The body to the right is muscled and has skin the color of the void of space. Its hairs are like stars or like comets. Each body, with eyes still closed, speaks its name: "Bosh," says the left head. "Osk," says the center head. "Gytt," says the right head. These three bodies repeat their names until another sound emerges. Prorok hears this new sound, and she sees the heads begin to open their eyes. The last thing she hears before waking from her slumber is a resounding word: "BOG".

The morning after she awoke, she told her friends of this vision. This rumor spread through the city, and most people were confused by the vision. The fortune-tellers have never heard of such a dream. The next night, Prorok sees another vision in her dreams.

Bog is floating in a great expanse of nothing, like they were before. The left head opens its eyes, and bright light flows forth from it. The cosmos is created. Stars blink into existence and planets emerge from the darkness. The left head closes its eyes as the center head opens its eyes. Fire can be seen in the eyes of the center head, and the universe ages as its eyes are open. It is not obvious, but Prorok knows it to be true. The center head closes its eyes as the right head opens its eyes. Its eyes are empty. The cosmos ends as its eyes are open. Stars explode and planets deteriorate, and Prorok begins to drift back to the waking world. But she comes back when the right head closes its eyes. All of the heads open their eyes at once, and the universe is created again. The universe becomes old, but new parts of it are being made. And old parts are being destroyed. Prorok wakes up.

She preaches of her prophetic dream and this spreads even further. The fortune-tellers are freaking out because this is the first time they've been unable to define a weird dream.

The Prophetess continued to have visions every night for the rest of her life, and the Church of Bog grew after a few years, from the teachings told to the Prophetess in her dreams. Even today, you can go to the Great Cathedral of Bog in Gorod and see the mummified corpse of the Prophetess and, for a fee, ask her some questions of the religious sort. A voice will issue from the dry, cracked mouth and she will tell you the answer, fueled by Bog's influence.

The Prophetess today.

The Current Church of Bog
The modern Church of Bog has been formed over the few centuries its been around through the assimilation of other faiths and traditions. It has splintered so many times over its history, and now there are about 25 different denominations, each with their own separate teachings and versions of what the Prophetess Prorok saw in her dreams. Each and every religious institution of the Church of Bog belongs to one of these denominations, with the exception of the Great Cathedral of Bog in Gorod, which is essentially neutral territory.

The Great Cathedral of Bog.

Each denomination preaches acceptance and tolerance, but there are always people who use religion as an excuse to be terrible. Some of the denominations have higher densities of these villains, but mostly they are spread around evenly. There are plenty of priests and clerics that are trying to combat the terrible pastors and priests, so they are (thankfully) a minority in the Church. But they are a very vocal minority.

A Cleric of Bog
The portfolio of a cleric of the Church of Bog varies with which aspect of Bog they hail primarily. If they hail Bosh, the creator, a cleric's portfolio might be mostly healing, light, or fixing items. If they hail Osk, the doer, a cleric's portfolio might be mostly the turning of creatures and the sending of information. If they hail Gytt, the destroyer, a cleric's portfolio might be mostly damaging spells.

Unicorns and Dragons

Unicorns

Unicorns are very, very rare. You are exceedingly lucky to have seen even but one in your entire lifetime. Nobody knows for certain why they are so rare, but different people say different things. The clergy of the Church of Bog say that the unicorn was a perfect creature, taken from the world as punishment for our transgressions. People see the unicorn because they are perfect in the eyes of Bog. The scholars and the wizards say that the unicorn was hunted to extinction because its body parts had magical properties, according to the wizards, and because their body parts were thought to have magical properties, according to the scholars. The conspiracy theorists say that they were taken by otherworldly beings, or that they were hidden by the Church of Bog. The dwarfs say that all things of the flesh will die one day, and the unicorns were some of the first to go. The biomancers and vivimancers don't really care why they are so rare, but they really, really want unicorn parts again. The elves know what happened to the unicorns.

The unicorns hid themselves. They are terrible creatures, with mouths filled with needles of bone and eyes wild with hunger. Instead of hooves, they have human-like hands, fingers tipped with hoof-like nails. Their tails are prehensile, and their mouths, horns, and hands are always caked with blood and viscera. They are bloodthirsty and love to hunt and gorge themselves on meat. They are cunning. They are actually much more common than most people know. They crawl through the forests and the cities, stalking peasants, hunters, adventurers, and tradesmen. They are very adept at being hidden, and the reason they are rare is because they rarely slip up. Most only see them when one tries to eat them. The elves know all of this, because they made the unicorns. They crafted these equine predators, and elves will often be accompanied by hornless unicorns. Be wary around elves, as their horses are just as dangerous as they are. It is true that the unicorn's body parts have magical properties. Most think its just the blood and the horn, but its really every part of the creature. Clothing made from unicorn hair is immune to fire. Elves drink the blood and urine of their unicorns to increase their magical or fighting power. Glue made from unicorn hooves never breaks. Have a fun time getting these parts, though. Unicorns are immortal. Unless they are turned into dust and scattered in the wind, they will keep on kicking. Even just a single unicorn leg will eventually grow into another sadistic horse.

HD: 4+4

AC: 17

Attacks: 2 (+3 claw/+3 horn or +3 claw/+1 bite)

Damage: claw: 1d6+3, bite: 1d10+4, horn: 1d8+4

Movement: as horse (I don't know what that is)

Intellect: 16

Morale: 10

Unicorns will commonly (60%) be found in the company of elves. These elves will occasionally cut the unicorn, dealing 1 point of damage, drink the blood, and gain 1 level of class abilities (not hit dice, but attack bonuses and spellcasting). This lasts for 1d10 rounds. Player character elves can do the same, but fighters and magic-users cannot. The unicorn will heal 2 hit points per round, including after they are 'killed', unless they are utterly destroyed (turned into dust, melted, etc.). If pieces of the unicorn are left, they will each become a healthy unicorn. Unicorns can climb walls at the same speed as they can walk. Unicorns speak their own language and the tongue of elves.

Dragons

Dragons are terrible. Everybody knows that. Big dragons crawl down from their mountain lairs and crush villages under their paws and claws, and more common drakes swim through muddy rivers and poison the land. Some dragons have the faces of men or of dogs or of birds, and bodies like a lizard or scorpion. Their wings have eyes, and their skin spews poisonous clouds. Their mangy skin is cold to the touch, and it is still even though you can hear the monster breathing. Everybody hates dragons, but nobody knows what exactly they are. The Church of Bog says they are demons. The wizards laugh at the church's claims about the dragons, stating that the dragons are some magical accident, or maybe some mutant animal. The scholars are confused by the dragons. The elves hate the dragons and try to kill them on sight. Some soldiers say that the dragons are to beasts what the orcs are to humans. Many people agree with them.

By Rattyarts

HD: 2-11

AC: 15-20

Attacks: 3 (+4 claw/+4 claw/+3 bite)

Damage: claw: 1d8+3, bite: 1d12

Movement: as human+10' per hit die

Intellect: 3-10

Morale: 12

Dragons will have 1d4 of the following abilities (roll 1d12 1d4 times):

1. Flight (has fly speed equal to walk speed)
2. Breath weapon (save vs. breath or take xd6 damage (x=hit dice). Damage type determined by you)
3. Poisonous presence (all creatures around it take xd2 damage per round (x=hit dice). succeed save vs. breath and take half damage)
4. Many legs (double speed, can climb walls)
5. Night vision
6. Religious (can use miracles as a cleric of level equal to their hit dice. Worships Drakonik, the spirit of dragons)
7. Magical (can cast spells as a magic-user of level equal to their hit dice)
8. Thick shell (AC increased by 2 points)
9. No legs (half speed, must crawl like a slug)
10. Elf vision (can only see elves and related creatures)
11. Immune (takes no damage from anything but magic, which it takes half damage from)
12. Amnesiac presence (all creatures around it forget things easily. Characters must make an ability check based on their class or lose a level of experience (strength for fighters, dexterity for thieves, intelligence for magic-users, wisdom for clerics)

They will never be found in the presence of other creatures, and the adventurers feel something off when they are approaching it.